Going through a divorce is one of the toughest experiences even to adults initiating it, not to say how the kids feel. The truth is that not all parents make it messy, frustrating and traumatizing equally.
But even those who try to cope with it friendly and peacefully might make some crucial mistakes that will scar the kids. Here are some useful tips on how to easy divorce and post-divorce life to the children.
Don’t argue in front of the kids ever
This is an absolute rule. Regardless of the age of your children, seeing parents fighting over and over again and witnessing various drama disturbs kids essentially and leaves serious consequences to their psychological state.
Do not blame the other parent when talking to your kid and always remember that your behavior is a crucial model kid will learn from.
Ensure children they are loved, safe and not guilty
Kids tend to project divorce drama onto themselves, feel rejected and left behind by the other parent or even feel directly responsible for the divorce. Fear of divorce is fear of losing parent’s love. Thus, use every convenient situation to make it clear none of that stands.
Be open and honest with kids
Do not underestimate kids’ power to understand the situation and recognize the problems. Don’t hide things from them, don’t confuse them with unclear explanations or sugarcoat the overall situation. They’ll handle it much better if you face them gently, but honestly with the true setting of things.
Friendly and flexible organizing of visitation schedule
When organizing visitations with the other parent, try to be understanding and willing to cooperate, regardless of the disputes you have with the other side. It’s for kids’ sake. Alter schedule to make it convenient for everyone, but still, try to keep it consistent.
Also, avoid expressing tension, anger, especially open fights during transitions. If you express any negative emotion when handling kids to the other parent, they might feel guilty for going to the other parent’s place. Do your best to make these awkward situations as common and natural as possible.
Open communication above all
Divorce will trigger a wide range of emotional fluctuations and tricky situations. To go through it without crucial damage to kids, encourage open communication and empower them to express all sorts of emotions. Avoid criticizing, judging and lack of patience.